Whether you're gunning for a starting spot, coming back from injury, or just trying to make an impact in your team, one thing matters: your relationship with your coach.
Every rugby player wants to be picked, respected, and trusted. But here’s the thing—how you communicate with your coach could be the difference between warming the bench or getting that matchday nod.
Let’s break down 5 key ways to talk to your coach like a pro and build a strong, positive presence inside your team environment.
1. Mirror the Vibe
This might sound basic, but it’s massive: match the energy that’s coming your way.
If your coach brings banter, meet it with banter. If they’re straight-up professional, meet it with clarity and respect. The point is to be socially aware and adaptable. You’re building trust with someone who’s managing 30+ personalities. Show that you’re in tune with the tone of the room.
Example: Coach says, “Hey mate, great energy today—nice work!”
Your reply shouldn’t be a deadpan “Yep.” Give that energy back. It shows you’re engaged and coachable.
2. Be Consistent Every Time You Walk In
One of the most underrated skills in a team environment? Being the same person every day.
If one day you’re upbeat, the next you’re negative, the next you’re sulking in the corner—how can your teammates or coach trust what version of you is showing up?
Consistency is currency. It tells the coach: “You can rely on me.”
And trust me, reliability gets picked.
There’s only room for one or two maniacs per squad—and they usually get a pass because they’re world-class on game day. For most of us, we need to bring steady, positive energy day in, day out.
3. Coaches Are Always Listening
Whether you think they are or not, coaches pick up on everything. They hear you during drills, in team huddles, in the changing room.
Are you clapping when a teammate does something well? Or are you muttering about how bad the weather is and bagging the last drill?
Your energy matters. Be the one who builds people up, not tears them down. You don’t need to be loud, just positive and present.
The best players bring a fighter mentality—resilient, positive, and solution-focused. That’s what coaches want in their squad.
4. Know Your Values and Own Your Identity
At 22, I was battling social anxiety and trying to “fit in” rather than owning who I was. It all shifted when I sat down and figured out what I truly valued.
For me, it was working hard, training on the weekends, doing extras, and improving daily. That wasn’t everyone else’s vibe—and that’s okay. Once I owned it, everything became easier: I communicated better, trained better, and aligned with the right people.
If you know what you’re about, your coach will too. They’ll understand your journey and see the intent behind your actions. When your behaviour matches your values, trust follows naturally.
5. Stop Asking for Feedback (And Start Doing This Instead)
Here’s the big one—and probably the one that will flip your thinking.
Stop asking: “Can I have some feedback?”
That question just handed your coach a task. They're already juggling session plans, player management, gear logistics, family, and 368 other responsibilities. Now you've made it 369.
Instead, do the work first. Show initiative.
Here’s a better way:
“Coach, I broke my game down into three areas—skills, position, and decisions. I’ve written a few key points for each. Could you have a quick look and let me know if I’m on track?”
That shows preparation, ownership, and respect for their time. It also sparks a real conversation, not a vague, passive ask.
Great players turn up with questions, not complaints. They show they’ve done the thinking. It’s the ultimate move to show you care about your development and value your coach’s perspective.
Final Whistle
If you want to grow in rugby, you need to master more than just your pass or tackle. You need to learn how to communicate, lead yourself, and earn trust.
That starts with how you interact with your coach. Mirror the vibe. Stay consistent. Be someone who builds the environment. Know what you stand for. And most importantly, come prepared.
This is how you get picked. This is how you lead. This is how you win.
Got a teammate who needs to hear this? Share the blog, drop it in your team WhatsApp, or hit them with the link. The more players who master this off-field skill, the stronger your squad will be.
See you on the next Brick. Let’s roll.